Pathetic fallacy in action

Pathetic fallacy is a literary device in which nature mimics the character's emotions. I've always enjoyed this particular technique since it allows the author to introduce depth to a particular character without being overt. Maybe that's why I've often applied that "technique" to life. Take yesterday for example...

Sunday and yesterday were perhaps some of the worst days ever. After celebrating the hope of new life, the celebration ended in a miscarriage. I was shocked; I knew that it was a possibility, but I didn't think it would actually happen. There weren't any signs, any warning. It just happened. I kept hoping that maybe this was just a sort of complication, that I hadn't really lost the baby, that there could be another explanation. But, no.

Now for the pathetic fallacy... yesterday it rained. and rained. and rained. I don't think the sun shone once. How appropriate then, that the weather mirrored my own feelings. It was simply a sad day. Like the rain, my tears were off and on throughout the day. I simply wanted to stay cozied up on the couch with my husband (who has been amazing throughout this, by the way). It wasn't that I wanted to wrap myself in pity, it was that I just wanted to be in the moment and experience the sadness of the loss. The rain almost seemed like a message from the Lord, too. It was almost as if He, too, was mourning my loss. And strangely, that's comforting.

I think just being has actually helped me. I mean, it's a day later, and I do genuinely feel better, but I think that's due to the time I had to just experience the loss. Not to say that I won't have bouts of sadness again, but I truly believe that the healing has begun.

As I mentioned before, Scott's been amazing. He came home without hesitation yesterday just to be here for me. Just having him here, available if I needed a hug or needed to cry, helped. Plus, we could talk about it, focusing on the hope and on God's promises, rather than on our loss. I can't dwell on the sadness and on what was because if I do, then how will I heal?

And again, that leads me to pathetic fallacy. Go figure that when I headed over to a friend's house this morning, the sun was shining, the sky was clear, and the temperature was cool. It's like the hope after the sadness. In response to this experience, I've chosen to focus on God's promises. He has promised, that He "[knows] the plans I have for you... plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jer. 29:11). Indeed, He is bigger than this loss, and though I don't know why He allowed it, I do know that He will provide the strength and the healing. There is hope in Him. Besides, why would a loving, just, holy, and good God want me to suffer? He doesn't; He wants me to grow through this (though I certainly wouldn't have minded a different path to growth...).

I didn't choose for this to happen, but I can choose how I will respond. I want to rest in His promises, not dwell on the hardships. I want to claim His healing, not dwell in the pain. I want to hope for bigger and better things, not dwell on what might have been. He will heal me. He will fulfill the desires of my heart because I delight in Him (Psalm 37:4).

Recently I completed Beth Moore's Patriarchs Bible study, which was an amazing experience. In light of my recent experience, I see how perfect God's timing has been. The study was a reminder of God's promises to the Israelites, despite their sins and their grumblings. God never forsook them, even when they forgot Him. He had made a promise to Abraham, and He fulfilled that promise. How reassuring it is knowing that I, too, can claim that promise ("I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you. I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you, I will curse. And all people on earth will be blessed through you" Gen. 12:2-3). Because I am a spiritual daughter of Abraham, I can claim God's promise, and because I know who God is, I know that He will fulfill that promise.

So the sun shines after the rain... and healing comes.