Faith Musings

I just finished reading Sara Miles' memoir Take This Bread. In it, she documents her conversion to Christianity (she came from an atheistic background). The book took awhile to finish, partly because of time (or lack thereof) to read it, partly because of her writing style, and partly because of the content itself. After all, though this recounts her conversion, her background is very different from mine, so some of what she says was actually difficult for me to read. (For instance, she's often almost hateful of conservative Christians, and seems to [almost] perpetuate the common liberal misconception that conservative Christians are ignorant and unintelligent.)

Still, I was curious as to her story, especially since it varies so much from mine. Though we still differ on some aspects of faith, reading her memoir has made me think about issues of faith, a topic that divides even Christians. Below are some glimpses into what I've been contemplating. I'm not promising cohesion or earth-shattering revelations; rather, these are musings on faith itself.

*Who is a true Christian?
"As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead" James 2:10
I firmly believe that a Christian is one who has accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, believing that He died for our sins. The Bible is clear on this. And I also believe that the true believer will manifest that faith through her actions. It's kind of like the saying, "If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, and sounds like a duck, then it must be a duck." After all, if the Holy Spirit resides within us at the point of our conversion, and we are actively growing in our love and knowledge of Christ, then it's only natural that our personalities would demonstrate that change.

But the caveat to all this is can I, a sinful person, really judge if another person's conversion is true? After all, only God truly knows our hearts (Luke 16:15), so only He can be certain of someone else's relationship with Him. This thought came to me while reading due to the fundamental differences between me and the author. She believes in moral relativism, I don't. She's a liberal, I'm conservative (I'm not trying to imply that all conservatives are Christians and all liberals are not; I'm just establishing a profound difference of opinion). We live very different lives. If I were to examine some of her choices, I would question her conversion. After all, how could a Christian use such language, especially in the house of God? Yet, some of her actions reveal a conversion. The gist of her memoir is how she coupled coming to faith with opening a (very successful) food pantry. Isn't that a manifestation of her faith?

So, how do I answer the question? A Christian is one who has accepted Christ as Savior, believing that He sacrificed Himself for our sins. I'm not at liberty to judge a person's conversion. We are all sinners, and thus we all have sins that are particularly trying. Being saved doesn't mean that we're free from temptation; we have to recognize the temptation, though, and ask God for wisdom to resist it. If the truth of Christ is what makes someone a Christian, then who am I to question if someone calls herself one?

Upon voicing that question, though, I feel as though we ARE called to encourage and even confront (in love) fellow believers. Christianity doesn't exist in a vacuum, and neither can we. As part of a fellowship, a community, we should help one another grow, and sometimes that means confronting each other about our sins. Of course, this becomes more difficult when we factor in various denominations. The author comes from a very liberal church (she even calls it that). Thus, there are certain actions that neither she nor her church condemn. These are some of the same actions that the Bible specifically addresses as being abominable to God. So... as a fellow believer, would I be responsible for confronting someone for an action that we regard differently? Overall, I think we're called to act in love, so that includes any sort of intervention we might undertake (and that only by God's prompting, and much prayer).

I don't have all the answers, but I don't think we're supposed to. After all, "my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord" (Isaiah 55:8). All I can do is meditate on His Truth, and seek Him always.

Just a Few Stats

Leah's one-year appointment was last week, so I thought I'd share her stats. She's still pretty tiny (don't know the percentiles) at 20 lbs and 28", but she's growing and developing just fine. We discovered that she now has seven teeth, rather than the six we had noticed just prior to her birthday. I noticed the seventh one (bottom left) at her appointment.

The LPN referred Leah for a orthopedic consult since Leah turns out her right foot when walking; the LPN wanted to rule out hip dysplasia. (For the record, Leah's hips are perfectly fine; I took her to the orthopedist's yesterday, and she determined that Leah's right hip isn't as strong as her left yet, hence the right leg extroversion.)

Our poor baby also has an ear infection (her first?), so she's on antibiotics. They must be working, since Leah's doing much better about eating and drinking her bottle again. Speaking of bottles, she's no longer on formula. Yeah!!! Next week we'll try weaning her from the bottle to the sippy cup, but that might be a challenge, especially since we still haven't found a sippy cup that she likes. (I hope to pick up a brand a couple friends recommended today at Target.)

All in all, our baby girl is growing just fine.

Our Days Are Numbered

Leah took her first solo steps this past Saturday. Oh my! She tentatively stepped from Scott to me, uncertain of what exactly she was doing. By the end of the day, though, she was a bit more confident. And now, just a few days later, well, that confidence has increased dramatically. Last night, after Scott set her down, she immediately took off walking (just a few steps, mind you, but she took off nonetheless) toward a toy she wanted. And last night during small group, she was cruising back and forth between the two of us.

So long, freedom!

Birthday Bash

Scott survived Leah's birthday party this past weekend. Later that night, he admitted that it wasn't so much the adults that overwhelmed him as it was the sheer number of kids... and the accompanying mess they made. (There were toys EVERYWHERE.) Leah had fun, though at times she was a bit overwhelmed by all the people.

She didn't make much of a mess with her cake. I'm not saying she was dainty, either, but she did manage to avoid her hair and ears, and her clothes stayed relatively cake-free. Initially, she just looked at the cake, pondering what to do with it. Even after she tried it, she wasn't quite sure what to do.

Playing with a toy from Uncle Erik & Aunt Dib

Opening gifts or playing with tissue paper?

Mmmmmm, cake

Way too Early for This

Leah's recently decided to consolidate her naps. Oh joy. Now, I know I should be happy about this, especially since it frees up our day to some extent, but I'm having a difficult time adjusting. See, instead of taking one really LONG nap, Leah takes an average-length one (1.5 to maybe 2 hours), which means I have even less time to accomplish what I want to.

Because of this, I've decided to get up early. Ugh. I am NOT a morning person, so the idea of waking up before 7 is not appealing to me. However, I've realized that if I want to get everything done, then I have to sacrifice sleeping in. (I know that several of you who read this blog already get up early, and so I don't expect any sympathy from you.)

Some might be able to accomplish tasks while their little ones are awake, but Leah's at that stage where she doesn't want me to pay attention to anything other than her. I'm amazed by how busy she's become in just over a week's time. My goodness! She wears me out! Since she's not walking on her own yet, she needs my help to walk around the house. She flits from toy to toy, stopping in between to garner my attention. Where does she get all this energy?

Now I see why my stay-at-home mom friends try to pack their days with activities: they're trying to tire out their little ones! Who ever said this was an easy job?

First Heart Attack

Yes, you read that correctly. Leah gave me my first heart attack. On her birthday. I thought Scott and I were supposed to shower her with gifts, not the other way around.

Wiggle worm (an important detail to this saga) hasn't been sitting still lately when it comes to drinking her bottle. She'll sit back and drink a bit, then squirm in my arms, trying to get free. Well, today she was successful.

We're sitting in the Poang chair in the family room, and Leah managed to (all in one movement) take out her bottle, turn onto her belly, and then dive headfirst onto the hardwood floor. I couldn't do anything. Anything. One moment she was sitting in my lap, and then next she was screaming on the floor. Oh my. Just reliving it makes me cringe.

So I scooped her up and started looking her over, fearful that she might have a concussion (yes, she is my first). Immediately I noticed the bruise on the right side of her forehead. Poor baby. As I carried her over to the freezer to get an ice pack, I also happened to notice some blood on her lip. Great. Now it's probably even more serious than I thought. Somehow I get a good look inside, and discover that her top gum is bleeding just a bit; more than likely, her bottom teeth scratched her top gum when she fell. So, I give her a cold washcloth to suck on, and that stops the bleeding.

I felt awful. Absolutely horrible. Thankfully, Leah recovered after a few (understandably so) minutes of crying. We cuddled on the couch while she calmed down and recuperated, and then she finished her bottle. She seems to be okay; we walked around the house a bit, played with the exersaucer, and then read stories before she went down for a nap. And I noticed that her eyes dilated and contracted normally, so I'm deducing that she'll recover. As for me, who knows. I guess this is just the first of MANY heart attacks that I'll have to expect over the years.

(Almost) Seems Like Yesterday

Look who's one!

Happy birthday, Leah! My baby girl turns ONE today. Unbelievable. I remember one year ago today; I was cooped up in the labor room all day since SOMEONE was pretty comfortable and didn't want to join the rest of us on the "outside". I never knew labor could be so boring. Really. (Keep in mind, I was induced, so I spent much of the day waiting for something to happen. Then, when something -- contractions-- actually started, well, I lasted as long as I could, and then I had an epidural.) I dozed in and out of sleep, and tried watching some TV, but there wasn't much on. And it didn't help that I couldn't eat anything (except for the breakfast I had that morning), yet Scott could duck out for a bite occasionally. Thankfully, Leah finally arrived, safe and sound, at 9:22 PM.

Much has changed since that day one year ago, and I'm not just talking about diapers. Looking at Leah's earliest photos, I'm amazed at how she's changed physically. When I also factor in all developmental changes, well, again, it's hard to believe it's been a year. She's grown so much in (really) such a short period of time. Milestones that once seemed to far off have been met and surpassed now.

Here's to the next year in my baby girl's life (though I'll have to call her my "toddler girl" soon enough). I look forward to relishing the moments and capturing the memories. Happy Birthday, Baby girl.

Celebrating her big day at the playground.

So far, so good.

Thought some of you would like to know how my New Year's resolutions are going. Actually, if you've been following the blog, you probably already have an idea.

Making a commitment to write and scrapbook weekly has been really freeing. That might seem surprising, especially since it involves devoting time to both on a weekly basis, thus reducing the actual amount of free time that I have. On the contrary, it makes me use my time even more wisely.

Since I know I want to accomplish these tasks every Tuesday/ Thursday, I try not to overschedule the rest of my day on those days. Plus, when I look at my to-do list for those days, I quickly prioritize what must be done, so that I can make the most of every minute.

Granted, I don't always get to spend as much time as I'd like on certain tasks, especially since the time is contingent on how long Leah will nap. Still, knowing that I'll have SOME time is reassuring. Plus, though these pursuits might not be as intellectually challenging as teaching, they do allow for some intelligent thought (or so I hope) as well as creativity. I have to step out of mommy-mode sometime!

Speaking of which, my "superviser" (Leah) beckons. Until next time...

And so it begins...

March Madness, that is. And I'm not talking about basketball. I'm talking about birthday celebrations. In addition to celebrating several friends' birthdays, there are seven little girls who will be celebrating their first birthday this month. Seven!

So in anticipation of the celebrations to come, here's wishing an early happy birthday to Lizzie, Evie, LEAH!!!!, Kate, Morgan, Avah, and McKenzie. Phew! I'm exhausted just thinking about all the parties!

Explain this one to me

Looking at the FiberOne Strawberry and Almond granola bar ingredients, I made a shocking discovery: there aren't any strawberries. Instead, there are cranberries. So why not just call it Cranberry & Almond?