Free Time

What I'm about to post might actually ruffle some feathers, so simply prepare yourself.

A couple weeks ago, I happened to be watching Dr. Phil (no, I don't watch regularly, but I wanted to watch something while ironing) and his panel was discussing a study published by a sociologist from UMD (I think) that suggested that stay-at-home moms have 40 hours of free time a week. Initially, I was appalled by such a claim. I know I don't have that much free time. Who does, really?

But then, as I thought about it, I realized that I do indeed have more free time than not. I don't always use that free time to read, scrapbook, or work on the computer, but I do indeed have quite a bit of time for myself.

Shocked by this epiphany, I shared my insight with a girlfriend who actually feels the same way. Despite us both having the responsibilities of caring for a child (or in her case, two children), we feel as though there IS enough time to accomplish all that we want to. Both of us actually felt (slightly) guilty by this admission, especially since it seems that so many people lament the lack of free time.

Curious about why it felt like we had so much more time than others, we agreed that it must have something to do with our organized natures. Routine is very much a part of our lives, though we both allow for other activities. (I have regular commitments each week, but that doesn't prevent me from scheduling other activities/ get-togethers/ errands.) For instance, I know that I'm going to do the laundry on Friday and Saturday. That's just a given. Or that I run to the grocery store on Thursday or Friday. Again, a given. The routine allows me to prepare for the week. Thus on Sunday, when I sit down and figure out my "to do" list for the week, I can quickly assess what it is that I'd like to do and figure out how best to fit that into my schedule.

I guess another reason why I have free time is that I know my limits. When I'm over-committed, I stress. If I don't have sufficient downtime during the week, then I feel overwhelmed. Realizing this over the past few years has allowed me to say no when certain opportunities arise. Though I might make an exception on occasion, I've been trying to stick to my convictions about what's best for me (and, therefore, my family). Take for instance evening activities. We're committed three nights a week, so I really value our family time the other four nights a week. I'd much rather just relax with Scott and Leah than go out on a weekday. I don't mean for it to be rude or selfish, but that's what works best for our family. (Again, I do occasionally make the exception, but if I pass on a weeknight opportunity, please don't take it personally.) Some of my favorite moments are playing in the family room with Scott and Leah after we've finished dinner. That's when we have a chance to just "be" as a family.

I don't know if these are the "secrets" to plenty of free time, but they seem to work for me. Of course, only caring for one child and not working outside the home helps, too.