Insomnia

Ever since Leah arrived, I've been experiencing a bit of insomnia. Actually, it's more than a bit; it's a regular occurence. Now, I can understand being an insomniac (albeit against my will) initially; after all, as a newborn, Leah was eating all the time (I so don't miss those days).

But now that Leah's 4.5 months, well, this insomnia is a bit ridiculous, especially since Leah's been sleeping through the night for quite some time now. For some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep, no matter how tired I might be. Take last night, for instance. As part of my usual bed routine, I read for a little while before turning off the light. Around 10, I turned off the light, eager for sleep (and yes, I was sleepy by that time). Guess I was too eager. My mind started racing. I started tossing and turning (while my husband peacefully slept next to me, obvlivious to my unsuccessful attempts at sleep). At one point I looked at the clock (after contemplating getting up, going downstairs, and posting this entry): 10:40. Ugh. Would sleep ever come? It finally did (obviously), but my battle with insomnia doesn't end there.

See, once asleep, I can't stay asleep. I wake up a couple times a night. The first few months Leah was home, I'm sure I did so because it was time to feed her. But that's not the issue, now. For some reason, my body just won't let me rest the entire night. No, I wake up and my mind starts racing again. Sometimes I'm up for just a minute or two, other times I seem to be in a semi-conscious state for an extended period of time.

Even when I am sleeping, I'm not resting well due to an overwhelming number of bad dreams. It's like they're a regular part of my sleep routine now (much like the insomnia). Ugh. Will this ever go away? Will a good night's sleep continue to elude me?