Change... it's inevitable

"The only constant in life is change." I don't remember where I first heard that quip, but boy, is it true. Life is all about change, and for the most part, I've embraced that fact. Growing up as a military brat, I quickly learned that the only constant in a life of change was my attitude; I could resist the regularly changing locations, or I could embrace them (I learned to embrace them, which is probably why I enjoy traveling, even if I haven't done that much or will be doing much of it in the near future).

As an adult, though, I find change a bit more difficult to accept. I know I should have a positive attitude, and generally speaking I do, but sometimes maintaining that outlook can be a bit challenging, especially in light of a difficult change. Take friendships, for instance. I've had to accept the fact that having kids makes getting together with friends (who also have kids) almost impossible. Not only do we have to juggle our already busy lives, but we also have to juggle our kids' schedules, and those don't always coincide.

Sometimes, too, those friendships evolve. A friend and I were talking the other day about how different friends (and friendships) meet different needs. Is it any wonder then, that as our needs change, so do our friendships? Acknowledging that truth isn't easy; I, like most people, want to hold onto what feels right and what's worked before. I don't want the relationship to change (or in some cases end) just because a particular need has been met. Rather, I want the friendship to develop and evolve, taking on a new perspective and filling a new need.

Despite resisting (some) change, I'm also re-learning to embrace it. Instead of considering what I've lost because of it, I'm learning to celebrate what I've gained. All those people God has brought into my life have helped me discover who I truly am. The more I experience life and get to know those around me, the more in tune I become with whom I am becoming. I certainly feel more real, more like myself now than I did ten years ago. I'm more aware of what's important to me, and what I value, but also, I'm becoming more aware of my own shortcomings and needs. I'm learning how to recognize those areas where I need to grow while protecting those areas that simply need to be strengthened.

So why the pondering? One is the upcoming move of some very dear friends. I'm so happy for them, especially since I know that this is what they've been waiting for, but I'm going to miss them tremendously. It's hard imagining them not being just down the road. The other is watching Leah grow. I've gotten to the point where I want to rock her to sleep (I don't... well, sometimes I do if she's not feeling well) simply to prolong the cuddling. I know that she won't always be this old; that every minute she's growing stronger and bigger. I'm doing all I can to capture each moment, but how do you capture time? A photograph helps (and we have plenty of those), but how do you capture a feeling? Thus, again, I'm resolved to accept change.

Until I can stop it, I'll simply store up the moments, enjoy the present, and anticipate the future.

Four Months Old

Despite the quizzical expression, Leah does enjoy her Tigger jumperoo.

Here are Leah and Scott her first week home...

Here they are now (17 weeks). She's getting so big!!

And here she is at four months old. Go figure that I still can't get her to smile for the camera.

Official 3-month Photos

Yes, I know she's almost four months old (next week... on Grandpa's birthday), but we just picked up the photos on Monday. She didn't fuss for the pictures, but she didn't smile either (obviously). Of course, that made Scott proud since he doesn't smile for pictures, either. Let's hope she grows out of that!

P.S.

I'm beginning to think that Leah's new talent will interfere with her napping. I just checked on her since she's been fussing (I put her down for a nap not long ago) off and on, and, just as I had suspected, she had wriggled free of her blanket and was on her belly. If only she'd remember that when that happens, she can roll right back over to her back... and go to sleep. Maybe THAT's what Scott should teach her...

Yet Another One...

During the evening, Scott helps Leah with her tummy time (translation: He forces her to endure it.). As she's grown stronger, she's fussed less, which means the amount of time on her stomach has increased. Since she learned to roll from her tummy to her back last month, Scott has been using the time together to encourage her to roll from her back to her front. This involves him propping her on her side, and then verbally coaching her to roll the rest of the way.

Well, wouldn't you know it, Leah finally internalized her dad's coaching, and managed to turn all the way over (back to belly) on her own yesterday.

Since Leah woke up while I was cleaning the dishes, Scott headed upstairs to retrieve her. Soon thereafter I heard, "Heather! Come here!" so I bounded up the stairs, pretty sure of what I would find.

Sure enough, there was Leah completely free of her blanket and lying on her belly in baby push-up position. "That's how I found her," Scott relayed. Even if I hadn't been looking at him, I would have heard the smile and pride in his voice.

Too bad neither one of us witnessed this milestone in action, but at least we know she can do it (plus I've seen her do it twice today). Hmmm, what will Scott teach her next? How to crawl?

Father's Day

Leah's Elvis impersonation.

Leah and Scott on Father's Day. Hope she's prepared for plenty of embarrassing moments courtesy of dear ole dad.

Contentment

is what I experienced last night. Not like I haven't been feeling content lately, it's just that last night I felt overwhelmed by it.

As I was cleaning up the dinner dishes, Scott was playing with Leah in the family room. Leah was laughing and talking away with her dad, and Scott was fully participating in the conversation (well, as much as you can with an infant). Watching them, I couldn't help but acknowledge how blessed I am to have a husband who adores his daughter and who takes such an active role in her life. Plus, Scott's willing to work long hours (and overtime) so that I can stay home to care for Leah. We have a roof over our heads, and food in the pantry. And we have an amazing support network of friends and family.

Life is good.